Beena’s Blog

Wedding and the suffer"Ring"

2010-06-12T01:23:00.000-07:00

Marriage is bliss!! or that is what people say. I don't object it. I don't support it either. All marriages are happy - it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems.(wink wink). Marriage can be a hell unless you give yourself into it. I am talking about our pakka mallu marriages where a girl is married into the boys family and leaves her family behind to start a new life and these marriages are made on basis of 101 almost impossible demands and we exclaim.. Aah! marriages are made in heaven (that explains the thunder and lightening). Its usually promises that are exchanged in marriage, but somewhere there is a bonus package of "expectations" between not just the bride and groom but both families as well.

Few things that are unsaid in usual marriage proposals.. am just adding the points:

Expectations from the boy:

* should be a great cook from day one (because we are dismissing our maid)

* should take care of all my family members needs. (your brother or sister in laws will be elder than you, but they are still small children to us)

* forget you have/had a family because I already forgot that.

*Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)

Few things from a brides mind:

* should be a great cook (because I do not know cooking and I don't have any intention to learn)

* I am tired from the time I am born, which means I will take a lot of nap and shopping to re-energise me. Don't make me change ( and I will not)

* My parents treat me like a princess, and That's the way I expect there as well

* Yes, I am getting married to your family, but I haven't accepted that. so My family continues to be my family.

"Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore ...."

Let me not sound very sarcastic when all I was trying is to see the comical side of unrealistic expectations and believe me, If you are stuck up in such a situation, Do not worry. Give the chilly new relationship more time to thaw.

(PS: I did not intent to write about anyone, living or dead, and if you feel it resembles you, its just mere coincidence. and for my survival I am saying "My husband did not expect those from me.. and I dint expect from him. Both of us know that we are not complete without marriage and once w did it TADA we are finished ha ha)

Between brothers!!

2009-05-12T22:01:00.000-07:00

1. ANGRY WITH ME?

2. WHAT IF I TRY TICKLING?

3. NOOOOO!!! NOT ME.

In this picture are Jacob Martin Ariyamkulathu & Aiden Sabu Vettathu

Odd Man Out

2009-03-27T09:51:00.000-07:00

I swim into the water, gazing up at the sky. I thought that’s where I belong. There were too fishes... bright and dull, big and small. The tail flicking fishes send drops sparkling. There were far too many that there was no room left for me. I knew I do not belong there.

I fly into the vast flawless blue sky. I felt weightless and as soft as a feather. I thought sky is where I belong. Slowly my feathers started burning because the sun was too hot and bright. My eyes started burning. I knew I do not belong there either.

I felt the cool breeze of the earth, the green trees that whisper the lover’s tune. There were many trees that spanned several colours from autumn’s palette and innumerable flowers, but the silence was so strong that it froze my soul. I knew I don’t belong here either.

I do not belong to the sea
I do not belong to the sky
I do not belong to the land.
Then where do I belong..
NOWHERE... That’s where I belong

-bs-

Love!!! ...more than a Feeling

2009-01-09T23:56:00.000-08:00

Unless you're a parent, reading my post you would probably think I'm crazy!
I've always known I would be a mother, and I always wanted to be one, but I never dreamed I would love it so much.

It’s hard to believe that Aiden is already two and a half months now. Oh.. I never knew babies are this innocent. I love his gummy, toothless smile he gives when I talk to him and the way he tries to respond with his cooing and gurgling. I love cradling him in my arms, playing with his little toes and fingers, making him smile and the way he holds me with his sweet tender fingers.
Life has definitely changed after He coming into our life.

I wish you could know how you make mamma happy in your own little ways.
Last week when his appa (dad) promised to take us out. I will never forget the kalla smile on his face with a ‘ammakku kittatte appede kyil ninnu nallathu’ look when I was late to get ready when appa came back from work. Everything I do everyday is about being a mother.

I love the way he shares the understanding mischief which is unbelievable. Yesterday, we wanted to go out walking and we were scared ammachi wont let us go, as its cold (though he was dressed for the season). I told him not to make any noise. I should say how surprised and overwhelmed I was when the he dint even make a gasp or noise, until we got out of that big house, closed the grill and the understanding smile he gave melted my heart. He's a cool dude and I wouldn’t be surprised if you fall in love when he stares at you with his pretty brown eyes.

Everyday he makes my day special and gives me moments to remember. I never knew until now how you make our life much richer and more meaningful than we could envision and for the overwhelming love and pride that you fill our hearts

Do you know this mother lives for you.. Just for you.
To see you growing, to answer your 1,000 questions about anything and everything, to see you live w/o fear, to see you being happy.

-bs-

The other side...

2008-09-21T18:08:00.001-07:00

Letter to Heaven, with Love….

2008-05-12T14:51:00.000-07:00

A mother's love's a blessing, no matter where you roam,
Keep her while she's living, you'll miss her when she's gone;
Love her as in childhood, though feeble, old and grey,
For you'll never miss your mother when she's buried beneath the clay (author unknown)

There is no love, like a mothers love. There is no strength, than your thoughts give me, There is no bond, that is stronger than ours..
Its strange that the day you left me is the mothers day…to make the pain so unkind… but memories help me get through.. when I feel so blue.
God being my guide, and you being my strength.. I wish you mothers day with all my love.. till I we meet again…sooner or later.

The way to a mans heart!!!

2008-05-02T12:04:00.000-07:00

I am standing in front of everybody with my tear glands going to break, my feminine force going to over power my strong decision not to cry. Trying to control my tears, which might at any moment ooze uncontrollably, I was wondering how careless I can be. Its neither the burn that hurts, nor the red rimmed black mark over my lips that might leave people asking “Oh .. what happened to you, BS?” but the awful truth that the seemingly careless BS is still a long way to a mans heart through the culinary skill.

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Born in a small traditional Indian family of countless cousins and big team of siblings.. large enough to make a cricket team, in Spring valley, I have heard this proverb at a tender age and I knew the importance of cooking. Every day was a celebration at Tharavaadu. I could feel the mixed small of spices and delicious curries Ammachi and aunts used to make not only tickled my taste buds. Being in boarding school from a tender age, art of cooking was always a mystery to me. May be that’s the reason why I was scared of that 7 letter word. When I reached primary school, one of my worst fear was about my poor culinary skills and I was worried what if my man doesn’t like my cooking.. I could imagine a fat and stout man with big mustache tasting my food and throwing it spinning the product of my hard work all over the place…

During the vacation time, I was allotted my share of work in kitchen. I would imagine myself making the typical hot and spicy meat curry with the Kaattirachi my grand pa would have got the previous night. Or I would think myself as a master of all the appam varieties .. my grandma would make like the soft puffy Paalappam, bit hard kallappam, my favourite cake like soft vattayappam, our Indian noodles, idi appam. But every time when I try to help them, I would be told other work like peeling the onion (that the worst and work I have ever done.), washing the plates or cleaning the room (this is rare). Kids were always given the task of ulli polikkification (peeling the onion). Its is not chuvannulli, then it is savaala.. or else veluthulli. It’s a never ending work.. when we are done with one batch of ulli poliking for irachi curry, next will come for thoran, and by the time we are done with that ullies will be ready for mezhukku peratti. And if we try to help the elders after this ulli polikkification, and plate washing, we are considered as total nuisance trying to invade their land. We would be told to go and play. With no option we wold take leave into the coffee plantation or the forest behind till dawn. My holidays will end with my plans shattered but becoming an expert in ulli polikking.

When I came to high school I started trying my hand in exotic cuisines directly, skipping the basic cooking. The only person who never complains about my food is my dad. when he, who finds it difficult to appreciate the best food my mother-the master chef makes, says my food is Good. Its the best appreciation I could get. My brother whom we call poutery farm, who can eat anything endlessly refuses to take what I prepare.. (what an insult). I was considering myself good in cooking when the greatest shock I got. My father got me a cooking book. That was a warning for me to improve my cooking.

The other day I spoke with Uncle J.Kadaplakel (don’t want my aunt to identify this uncle and see my uncle malnutritioned, losing his weight along with his hair, being deprived of F-O-O-D). part of it went like this

Me: hello uncle J?
Uncle J: BS, so what you doing at home?
Me: what else, trying my hand in cooking. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. u know’
Uncle J: so trying to trap S?
Me: kind of’ *giggle*
Uncle J: even your Aunt tried that. And she is still trying that.. *smile*
Me: did she succeed? *curious smile*
Uncle J: that’s what I said.. she is still trying *hearty laugh* even after 16 years.

Though I know both of them are happy together it’s a warning to all married girls.

Every time I try my hand in culinary skill, I will be left with a memory that will last at least for a week. Mostly it ends up as black marks over my skin. One of the basic and important point when you use cooker is to make sure the vent of the cooker is not closed. One of the best ways is to blow through the weight of the cooker to see it’s not blocked. It works. It works fine every time …when somebody does, but not with me. Today I was trying to make the Erisheri. The vegetables..ie the beans was no cooked well even after two whistles. I thought of keeping it again and I assured the weight is not blocked before replacing it. I remember myself trying to blow through the weight and I heard a sound SsshhHH similar to the sound you hear when you pour water on the big tawa in Thattu kada to make mutta dosa. I was left with a funny mark on my lips. The hot-hot metal had left a goofy mark on my lips.

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Is it really true? Tell me its not!!!

The Height of Boredom!!!

2008-05-01T10:27:00.000-07:00

Its an illegal photo.. but I cudnt leave without capturing this beautiful funny snap from Seematti.. the temple of silks.. in kottayam. I guess the baby's mommy might be busy shopping somewhere there..

isnt it Funny and Cute?

Indian driving

2008-04-08T20:58:00.000-07:00

After several years in India, the road rules I am used to, coming and getting used to US road rules is tougher than my ever-hated pharmacology exams. Driving in India is an art, and a game unlike in US where they just follow the rules. Being a born non-follower, and a believer of the rule that “Rules are made to be broken” I was thinking of the Indian traffic rules.In India I am a believer of Karma. Depending on karma either you will survive or the other driver will survive.
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Me in India: I love blowing the horn. It’s a way of expressing myself and letting other drivers joining me. I express frustration, happiness, sadness, irritation, or to wake up the sleeping dog in the road.. and I am happy others will join me with no objection and it will continue like a music (more like my brothers music). He who is loudest gets the right-of-way here.

Me in US: I doubt if their cars have one because I never hear any body using it. Am waiting for a chance to use it on somebody (at least I need to check if the horn is working, right?)
In fact I have forgotten the use of horn.

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Me in India: I love India and driving in India. I just follow the instinct or move in my intended direction, whether it is left or right or center of the road. I can squeeze through the traffic, no matter from which side
Me in US: one of the major causes of husband –wife fight (i.e. us) here is the left and right hand ruleof the road. My sweet hubby kutty and paavam me goes out for a romatic evening for dinner till we reach the corner, and he tells me to keep right while turning left and before I could hear that it would have reached the left curb and my hubby kutty becomes an expert takes the vehicle back to the right lane. (that’s a rare occasion where I get to hear the Horn) Not only he becomes an expert in road.. but an angry, unromantic kettion. That’s not the end of it.. but the end of a romantic evening too and I sleep starving to death. :(

(I do not know why hubby-kutty who drives at 110 mph at a stretch in US free ways in LA-San Diego gets high BP when the highly expert and experinaced taxi driver tries to maneuver through the busy Bangalore Residency road through the narrow space between the Karnataka BMTCs and trucks at a speed of a tortoise per hour.)

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Me in India: when I want to go for a movie (rarely happens) my parents, brothers, sisters, sister in laws all go together in one car, along with brothers kids, not leaving an inch of space. 8 adults and 4 kids go easily and lavishly in my car. In fact no need of a belt, coz there is no chance of being thrown out from the vehicle and I don’t find the use of seat belt.

Me in US: even my 1 year old nice has to have her own seat and I feel the suffocation of the tied up kid in safety belt and the separately joined child safety seat. And when the whole family goes out, it reminds me of Hindi movies- fight scene where some 5-10 vehicles follow the hero.

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Me in India: crossing the road in India is a chance to hold on to the hands of whoever is near you while crossing the road. And guess what you will love crossing road if you love adventure

Me in US: I wait for the vehicle to pass, and they wait for me to move… at last the wait ends when the driver puts his/her out and waves me to move on with a friendly grin… and I recognize I am not in India and how I miss India.

Driving in India is like playing the video game. The points will be added up when you overtake each car. And there are reward points when you overtake cows, stray dogs, trucks, goats, auto rickshaws and pedestrians and beggars. Oh.. How I miss India!!

Rocky in Action...

2008-03-23T23:07:00.000-07:00

It’s after a long time that I met my aunt. A lot of changes I could see over the time. I was stepping inside with my usual baggage which follows me like the hutch dog. Where ever I go the small black bag pack which can hold my essentials follows..
The warm friendly welcome from my aunty was followed by a sudden change in expression which I couldn’t read ..

She screamed: “climb on the table:”
She was always a funny person, who liked playing with people and making fun of them, for their entire life. I dint want to be one.
Me: standing , trying to act cool, but still confused over the unexpected change in her behavior.
Aunt: “I say climb on the table. Climb .. faaaast..”
Me: what in the world is she trying to do with me. Still trying to act cool
Aunt: “edee, Beenakuttee. Rocky varunnundu. Aa meshel keran” (climb on the table before Rocky is here”)
Me: what a wonderful welcome!!
Wondering who rocky is. My aunt is a person who hided her pregnancy for whole 9 months and gave us a shock of life with his newly born baby Kannan years back. Is rocky another surprise?
Before I could think more.. I could see a dog coming running towards me, through the side verandah. And there he was , Kannan behind him.
Kannan: “B. chechi, Climb on the table”. This time it was more clear about who rocky is, and the reason why aunt was telling to jump on the big table.
I threw my ever-following bag pack (I was good in throw ball in school u see), and there I was on top of the table (good in high jump too) calling all Gods, and scary fierce looking rocky running around my table as if he lost sense.
It took sometime to make Rocky calm down.

I love dogs, ut not this one. He is good with them… pla

ys with Kannan. wags the tail and screws up her (I think it’s a SHE.. or may be it’s a HE) face and all I did was take few snaps of Rocky.. funny yet Scary.
Rocky is funny to watch.. just watch

*all that happened was Kannan opened Rockys cage to play with him, and I entered the house without his permission which made him go wild.

Take up your cross!!! Plan your lent!!!

2008-03-08T15:04:00.000-08:00

I don't really consider myself much of a religious person but I do want to connect myself with the sacrifice of Jesus. This lent, I really want to have an effect on me. I wanted to observe the lent this time… the forty-day liturgical season that initiates the most sacred part of the Christian year. This time let it be NO-NO.. to all the Non Veg items. It all started with the ash Wednesday. Remember I am going to leave all my favorites for 40 days. (Its not 40 days but people say .. same like every senti-mummy dialogues which goes.. I carried you for 10 months and u *sob* and u.. *sob*. I dunno which mother carries for 10 months. Its 9 months 1 week.. Round it, its still 9 months. May be its extra bonus period you get Free with every pregnancy to claim.

Is there any connection between the stomach and consciousness? A great question indeed!! The latter serve as a reminder to the former.. reminding me.. “Beena . You are fasting”. “Beena You are fasting”. Its ok if the consciousness reminds me of the fasting, but it reminds me of the all tasty mouth drizzling NV dishes ammachi made, or the Big Mac Offer from Mc Donalds.. making you more hungry.. and reminding you of the temptations Jesus underwent. (Dunno if he had to face my favorite Big Mac offer temptation,..)..The sufferings he faced, his death and resurrection.

Wednesday morning :Day 1
Gave up fish, chicken, mutton, beef. Egg is considered as a vegetarian.. so I am a perfect follower of lent… the poor eggetarian.

Day 2
Its not difficult to sacrifice the meat or fish when I have so many other options from the loving heavenly father. I did not fall for the grilled beef we made in the evening.

Day 5
Sunday morning
A devoted christian in church by morning. It’s on the way that we decided to have Breakfast from outside. As a semi-regular cook, this is something, which sounds like music to my ears. It was difficult to select any vegetarian food, but I am a veggie of 50 days.. and I decided on a sardough, when mr. Hubby and MIL ammachi decided on my favorite buretto, which contains lots of meat.. a real devil in front of a true Christian. I was savoring the breakfast and I was half way through when I noticed the bacon in that.
It’s a difficult thing to decide.. what to do with the bacon in that. Its not that I can keep the bacon aside and continue with food, but ammachi wont be happy to see me keeping it there. She is a lovely lady who wants everybody to eat.. and reminds everyone every now and then to eat.

Scene 1
Me taking the bacon from the sardough and keepting it down. *sob*
ammachi looking at me and making a notion to eat it. New-daughter-in-law…who is not supposed to make a scene, gulps it down without saying word. Ammachi giving me a coarse look... a warning to the advise on healthy eating which can follow anytime.
Mr.Hubby not happy with my silly idea of fasting, and understanding the look of ammachi, gives me a still worse look.
In fact this dint happen... to prevent it from happening.. I gulped everything. A small piece of bacon only one day should not do any harm to my fasting. Should it?

Day 6 and 7
A strict follower of lent and a true Christian. It was then raaman, (Mr.hubbys family friend for years) and his family invited us for the dinner. A good intention!!

Day 8
A pleasant day at Ramans house. a Birthday party cum inviatation for the newly wed couples. (It’s strange that we are still called newly Wed. its almost two years and still we are called the new couples. Its partly because we did not visit much of our relatives after the wedding…but mostly the reason is this. My husband-kutty being the youngest of the small family of seven children…(all married except him) and petest and pamperest and soapiest* and what else. So till his elderrr sisterrrrs elderrrr daughterrrr gets married, who is still studying, we are going to be the newly wed Couples.
When the newly wed were offered the choice of fish or meat, I did not want raman or his handsome grandson (sshh!! secret *wicked smile*) to feel offended. I was again in the same dilemma. After all I do not like fish much. And I don’t want the imaginary carls Jr scene to be real. I left the lent on fish. *sob*

Day 9
A pure eggietarian plus fishitarian, and a follower of 50 day lent. *proud of mself*

Day 10
Lunch in SIL’s house. (sister in law… not son inlaw) *wink* .
A warm lovely lady, whose brunch invitation we couldn’t say NO, or reject, and it would be unfair. I go there thinking on somehow continuing with my lentism, without creating the imaginary Carl’s Jr scene.
A well-planned lunch in beautifully arranged room!
The smell of barbecued chicken drummets, kappa, fish curry, mr. Hubbys favorite pork, Thomas chettai’s (my SILs hubby) special beef dishes and other countless dishes.. which any lent follower can consider as the test of times. And there I am a strong willed Christian, who decided to put away all the temptations.

Scene 2
Mr hubby and Thomas chettai, SIL, ammachi, and the lent follower, relaxing on the table overlooking the beautiful garden…
Each filled their plates and me sitting with them, eating like a rabbit… I mean munching only on the veggies
Ammachi: taste this meen curry with kappa. Before I could say NO… it was there in my plate. It was then the Mr.Hubby showed his love on his wife, with his fav’ ham, and in a fraction of a second it was lying beside the salmon.
Thomas chettai: Dint you take the Beef? Taste it. Its good (of course, it will be. I am a fan of thegakothitta kanjirapally achayanmaarude beef fry).Neither did I want him to question his own beef making culinary skill nor did I want the Carl’s Jr imaginary scene to be real here. And if it happens, it’s going to be with 3D effect. So praying for all the sinners and the poor lent followers I had to start from one side… the side of chicken or the side of beef…

I began with the best of intentions, but I am not sure what I'm doing or what I want to be doing…
Its then that I turned to the Lord with some real question?
"Lord, it feels so good to be honest with myself before you. It feels very good to feel your presence in every way..
…in form of love..
…in the form of that beautiful jerkin which you made my husband buy for me from ROSS…
…in the form of gift card, when I really wanted to buy my juke box (or else I would never have got it now)
When you love me so much, do you want me to undergo all these Carl’s Jr scene every time. Do you really mean me to stay away from NV when you yourself did magic on two fish (not tomato curry) and five loaves to feed the multitude. God Understand me and bless me…*humble*

God to me “ I understand you. And don’t try all the icing works which you do on your dad to please me. But I understand you.. I really do. Of course I do understand the mental torture you had when you heard that Mc Donald gave that BigMac offer just after you started the lent. Dear child, eat everything you want to eat. Fasting is in the mind.
Instead do this :
Be happy.. Make others happy…
Avoid any negative thoughts... that’s what I want you to be during the fasting and later".

On my way Home...

2007-07-24T03:15:00.000-07:00

Taking a break..

I am taking a break to relax..

May be a break from blogging too.. (but will be back for sure)...

Now I can witness the dewy mornings, the mountains and the long slender bars of cloud that float above it,I can hear the music of rain, see the colour blooming lawns which carry the cooling aura and tangy fragrance of the flowers around..
I can see the moonlight, leaves with diamond dew drops, shadows in still water.
I can relish on the homely, home cultivated healthy food. Mangoes, jack fruits..
This is where I belong..

This is the place where I am myself.. I took this picturesque of my village.. though it could capture only part of the beauty and the serenity it has

-bs-

IIIIITS Irritating!!!

2007-07-19T05:04:00.000-07:00

The phone spam in Bangalore is taking pretty good amount of time and I hate it. That’s why its called IIIIITS meaning Increased, Irritating, Invasive, Inconsiderate, Insensitive telephone calls. I get calls from all the important banks. ABN Amro (its in the Hit list and sometimes I feel they get some bonus point if they call me. I get calls every 2 hours from this bank), Citibank, HDFC, HSBC are the most persistent. Its not only them Hutch, country club, Standard Chartered, SBI, ICICI etc are few others.
Of course there is nothing wrong in calling me to recommend a loan or credit card which will benefit me if I am interested. But what if you bug me with the same stuff more than twice a day. Think about my condition when I have several banks that are interested in my welfare. At least I wish they could spare me when I am in roaming network.

1 year back

Caller: ( young sweet voiced girl) .Good afternoon madam, I am calling on behalf of ABN Amro bank.
Me: regarding?
Caller: regarding personal loan maam. We have very low interest rate. Mam, may I know your salary and where you are working?
Me: I answer her and ask her more about that loan scheme.
Caller: She tells me about the new scheme and I patiently listen.
Me: no thanks now. But when I really need one I will think about your bank and its offer.
Caller: But maam, this loan is very good.
Me: (I briefly explain that I don’t have any plan to take any loan now and the call ends peacefully).

Me: *smile*

I am much impressed by the way our banks progress and its customer support.

6 months back

Caller: Good afternoon madam, I am calling on behalf of ABN Amro bank.
This is regarding personal loan maam. We have very low interest rate. (I interrupt her at this point)
Me: No thanks, I am not interested now.
Caller: But why maam?
Me: Because I don't want to. And I would appreciate if you can remove my name from your data base as I am getting many calls. And if I am interested surely I will consider it then.. but not now Thank you. (And I hang the phone)

I feel sick of all those calls from numerous banks offering 'free' / 'conditional free' credit cards and hell lot of loans!

2 months back

Caller: Good afternoon madam, I am calling on behalf of ABN Amro bank.
This is regarding personal loan maam.
Me: (I hang up)
I feel pretty annoyed

NOW

None of these seems to work. And now I try a different one

Caller: Good afternoon madam, I am calling on behalf of ABN Amro bank. This is regarding personal loan maam. We have very low interest rate. Blah blah blah
Me: Is it? May be I would like to know more about your loan
Me: * wicked smile*
Caller: *very happy face* Mam, may I know where you are working?
Me: I am working for Jubilant Biosys. (of course I am jobless now)
Caller: * happy face* can u spell it maam.
Me: very patiently J-U-B-I-L-A-N-T B-I-O-S-Y-S
Caller: Thank you mam. How much is your take home maaaam?
Me: this poor jobless soul take NOTHING.. hey I dint say that
thirty thousand two hundred and fifty three rupees.
Caller: *very very happy face* ok mam. May I know how much loan you are looking for and for what.
Me: I am looking for a loan of 100 rupees to buy a slipper. Does your bank offer that.
Caller: maam, I dint get you. *confused*
Me: I repeat
Caller: madam. You should not waste our time. If you are not interested why don’t you tell that first. *angry*
Me: how may times?? How many times I have to say I am not interested and how many times you have wasted my time.. * again same wicked smile*
Caller:#$%^&*() thank you maam. * very angry*

And this is funny. At least I feel I am repaying them for all the precious time they spend for me. And I feel happy * again that wicked smile once more*

Of course I understand and sympathize those (those who call me) are driven by daily targets to push the product. But remember I am no saint and I got the least patience.

I know some of my friends who pick the call and keep them saying ‘Hello Hello’. The sweet voice from the other side will keep saying hello- Hello for a while till her throat gets dried up and hangup the phone.

I heard about this Do Not Call registries where in once your name and contact number is registered in that this king of people should refrain from calling that number. Here are some of the DNC registries in India for the benfit of those who have seen the nellipalaka* of patience :

ABN Amro: http://mail.abnamrobank.co.in/creditcard/do_not_call_servicemail_cc.asp
HDFC: http://www.hdfc.com/donotcallform.asp
HSBC: https://www.tools.asiapacific.hsbc.com/webform/apply?id=in+donotcall
CitiBank India: http://www.online.citibank.co.in/ngrhtm/custhmdnd.htm
Standard Chartered: https://play.standardchartered.com/smail/in/IN15/index.html
SBI: http://www.sbicard.com/sbi/donotcall.jsp
Canara: http://www.canbankindia.com/personal/card/faircard/faircard-main.htm
ICICI: http://www.inuonline.com/dnc/donotcall.asp

* nellipalaka is a mlayalam word and i don not know how to define it.:)

Defy the Odds

2007-07-08T05:46:00.000-07:00

I hate packing bcoz every time I pack, something will be missing, and I will notice that only when I am done with packing. One bag of dress, another of shoes, again another with books and CDs. I was going through the old college books, throwing away lots of paper, when something caught my eyes. Some poems written by my friend Preethy (it should have been written at some class hours probably.. coz that’s when she pondered her mind and at the end of the lecture she used to show me something imaginative and mostly it was poem.) One such poem “DEFY THE ODDS” is lying in my bag. It was written in pencil and almost faded out, but still it was readable. (One of the best poems of home and away, which she wrote for me, is still my favorite. Hopefully I will post it some other time). And here it goes?

Tears of grief spill out
Glances of parting reach out
As your feet carry you away
Carving out a new path

I watch you fade into the night
I feel the pain strike deeply
Your last glance spoke volumes
Spoke for you and for me

The dents your feet left in the snow
Are no longer visible to me
Through a film of tears
I can realize they’ve been erased

Though the years have passed
I still miss your presence
Waiting for you to return
And fill the void in my life

In my heart of hearts, I know
Your coming back is a fantasy
Yet will you defy all the odds
And come back to me?

This is kind of encouragement for her. Because she has started a blog but never posted anything. To break the ice let this be the beginning, Preeths.
-bs-

Dowri: A Modern Outlook

2007-07-02T09:52:00.000-07:00

When I hear about arranged proposals and marriage , I think about the dowry too. It is still in place. Its that low class and lower upper class make open deals about dowry where as middle class and upper middle class are too decent to ask dowry. That doesn’t mean dowry doesn’t exist.
If the girl is uneducated, she got to give dowry. (bcoz she dint study. Whether the boy she is going to marry have studied or not is irrelevant). Even if the girl is educated,.. case is not different. This time she needs to give dowry get a good qualified gentlemen, according to her qualification).

Well you cant blame gents either. If he asks dowry, then he is an uncivilized money minded coward. If you don’t ask, then seriously something is wrong with him.
Here I am trying to share two of MY OWN experience I had to face, when I was undergoing the emotional torture of finding the right Guy. I was above the marriageable age (in my family, girls marry before 21). So my marriage has been a talk in the family, and tension of my dad. (I doubt, he started getting more white hairs after they started searching a boy for me).
Just sharing two incidences the first one is when the Boys father, makes an open request for dowry-decently and indirectly.
(Though Below mentioned situations are very true. No offense meant to anyone please)

Scene 1
Place: My homes, to be exact our living room.
Participants: Him (a well qualified professional in Bangalore) and Me
(The elders were too generous and understanding that they wanted us to know each other in the 5 min allowed.cant blame.. what else can they do.. when I cudnt find one on my own)
And awkward silence in the room. I was told that the guy should start the conversation. I wait for him to start. Atlast he said after a long silence
Him:*smile*

Me: *smile*
Him: err…what is your name? (couldn’t hear what he said.)
Me: What?!????!!? (doubting if it’s the problem with my ears or with his voice)
Him: rr…. Your name is Beena, right? (funny. Without knowing you have come all the way traveling 5 hours to meet somebody whose name itself unknown. Maybe it’s the starting trouble)
Me: yes.. and you are XXXX right (hey. C’mon. I too talk blunders)
Him: err…what you doing?
Me: What?!??!!??? (again problem with he volume, forget bass)
Him: *gulp* err…hmmmm….I mean you are working in bangalore right
Me: yes yes.. (great this time I heard him).

Him:^&*()HJ
Me:%^&*()^&
Him: %^&*t6^&… (3 min over)
Him: you want to say something.
Me: *smile* No. (I knew I never want to know him more. 5 min is more than enough)
Him: errr…hmmm…err… well then
Me: *hmmm*

5 min later.
Guys father says bye. He makes sure his car is full with kappa, kaachikka, kurumulaku, elakka, kaappi kuru, ethakka, elakka etc from our land. Neighbour Chedathi was looking as if a long lost relative has come to see us. In the town, where they stay, these kind of things (above mentioned ones) are not good it seems (very true). Since his childhood, he rarely got to see the home cultivated vegetables.
Me: No wonder that’s why you showing this ‘aakrantham”
Hey. I dint say that. But I wished I could.
Guys father continued, “anyway nothing to hide between us now. I had given XXXX lakhs and XXX gold for my daughter. Blah blah blah"
My father: *gulp* err *smiles* err. I am glad my father dint faint
Well it dint work out.. how it can..
* end of scene 1 *

Scene 2

This time it’s not the father who is intelligent, but the son himself. He was trying to figure out how much he can get. (yes.. ofcourse he dint ask it directly)
Place: the same living room with the same furniture.
Participants: Him (this time it’s an IT Guy working in USA. On short leave, who wants to find his soul mate in a week or two) and Me.
Him:Hello?

Me: *smile* ( am used to this one)
Him: Beena, heard you work for Jubilant as a Scientist. That’s good. How’s the job?
Me: *wow*?!?!!? (direct and smart) ya ..Job is good. Infact I got few opportunities in other companies , but I dint want to change for the time being. Good career you see. (what a sweet lier I am)
Him: *smiles* (looked happy) so how do you go to office. By your car or they provide vehicle. I know all girls use two-wheeler still...
Me: *confused on the relevancy of vehicle I use*. No no.. I go by BMTC bus. (Cabs were not provided then. Buying a car was still a dream)
Him: *disappointed face* err…well. Then where do u stay. U have taken your own apartment or..???? ended in an uncertainty.
Me: No, No.. I stay in a hostel. Its very economic. I pay around Rs XXXX/-
Him: *with a very dull face as if he lost in his 10th examination but trying to keep a fake smile * well. Then.. umm. Err.. u na’. So what do you do with the money you earn. Might be investing in some share market or something
Me: What?!?!!??? Savings!!!!
Him: *gulp* err…hmmmm….He was shocked and was looking white as if he had seen a dead body talking.. well, Beena anything else you want to ask..??
Me: No NO.. (I could read his mind).
Him: %4$%^&^&* (He got up. Mother came and talked with him. Dunno how much of his errr…hmmm…err… well then Englishi Malayalam she could get understand)
Him: errr…hmmm…err… well.. aunty, where is the wash room?
Before my mother showed him the wash basin (bcoz she would no way understand his language), I guided him to the right place.

* the end of scene 2 *

Fortunately both didn’t have the chance to proceed.
After all you cant blame anybody. You get the deal; it’s a business for years. After dowry also, he can get incentives every time he visits her house. He doesn’t have to bother about the furniture, house hold items.. Everything done at pocket money given by FIL.
Dowry is a kind of smart business… I say. (but the money stinks)

Anybody against Dowry?

This Gold mine Image from somewhere in the Net.

A Love Story

2007-06-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

LOVE .. the word itself got a magical power behind it. Its not rare that we mistake a self-seeking false love for Unconditional Love. I still doubt which is the strongest love in this world. Between mother and kid?? Between lovers?? Between husband and wife?? Between siblings? Between friends??.... still a question if opened for a debate will continue till the world exists..

I was having a discussion about Love with my friends. Its funny how people think of love. Maybe its their experience that gives then those attitudes.. Some of them think love got colors and its their life. I don’t mean the love that’s between lovers.. it can be any love.. it was then that I heard a story about love from a friend of mine. I liked it and I agree with it. (and please friends, don’t take it that I am against love of anything. I am very much in love but somehow I felt there is some hidden truth in the story I heard. After all humans are those who still have the basic animal instinct.) Thought of sharing that Monkey Story with you…

A Story of love that existed between mother monkey and baby money. There happened to be a heavy flood and storm in the mountain where the monkey family lived. The water rose up, and it stormed continously. Even the wise monkeys were frightened by the flood and they decided to go to someother place when the waters covered everything except a tree at the mountain top. But how could the baby monkey who is too small to jump go with them. So the baby monkey and mommy monkey were let alone there. How could a mother ever leave its baby, however worse the case may be?

As the water level started rising, the mommy monkey had to keep the baby monkey on the shoulder. But then it didn’t stop there... I started raining more. The mommy monkey kept the baby monkey on the head, so that it will be safe. But after sometime, the level started rising and the mommy monkey couldn’t do anything to save her baby.. She cried , she struggled and at last she left the baby monkey there and she escaped.

What do u think is the best love in this world in Human relations?
Lets take a Vote…I vote for…umm... Will vote at the end. :)

Memories of Rain -1

2007-06-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

Today its raining heavily.. I love the rain… I love walking in the rain without an umbrella. I love being drenched in it... the rain brings with it many memories...

The patter of the raindrops on my windowpane... the same patter I heard when I was in boarding ... years back.

June month had a peculiarity. School can get leave any day... heavy rain will block the road, Periyar will over flow.. and schools will get closed. One similar day... the rain is expected to get less, and the school to restart. But day-by-day it became worse. Almost all the kids in the boarding have gone home except few of us. The unlucky few were laid back in boarding.
“when will your daddy come to see you”? Boarding sister used to ask me every now and then
“ Sunday” I will say with an aching heart.. (It was no use convincing the sister about something I was unsure, and she never bothered either) though I was bold outside. I used to be scared .. unsure about the things at home. I wished everything is ok back at home. That was the only choice because we never had a telephone at home that time. Even if we had its not going to be of use as telephone is something, which is OUT OF SERIVICE all through the rainy season. Sundays were special for me, because every Sunday my father used to come and meet in the boarding. We will go outside, have lunch from Hotel Ambadi or Hotel Sreekumar. On the way back he will get me “eatables” (a term used more often by us kids in the boarding). While the eatables meant chocolates, chips, biscuits and all colorful snacks to my friends.. it confined to peanuts and dates for me. I used to wish he would get me the colorful biscuits and chocolates I see in the Jacobs bakery. “athokke verum vishamma.. nallathu kazhichu padi” (its all not good. Learn to eat healthy food) is all he will say. He is a great dad for not spoiling me in buying me whatever I want. But he still buys me things that I really need. On the way back to boarding he used to get me my favorite books to read, Bobanum Mollyum and Balarama, two books I never missed. (even now I am fond of the first one). It was an unsaid promise that he will be with me every Sunday if I am in the boarding. He never broke the promise.

“Sunday” though I said that I was very not sure if he will be able to come. There was no way to make sure if he will be able to come or not. No vehicles can pass the Periyar unless the water level went down.. and until then I am going to be in the hostel. 3 days have gone by.. rain haven’t stopped. Almost all have gone home. I hated the lonely evenings and nights, I hated the cold food served in the boarding, I hated waiting for somebody to come and take me, when I knew its just a dream.
The school had a wet look, all trees drenched in water, leaves all over the place because of the wind... strong enough to make me fall, if I don’t get hold on to something bigger than me. The Eucalyptus tree, which we used to play SAAT (or the so called hide and seek), been standing there looking handicapped with its main branch cut, a verisimilitude of the heavy rain and storm on the previous day.
It dint look like Sunday. Sundays used to be very fun with the “Vedapadam” class followed by the games. As the climate was bad, sisters dint take us to main kumily church for the Sunday mass. We attended the holy mass in the convent chapel.
I was sitting near the dormitory, which used to be very noisy on other Sundays, now owning a scary death like silence. The only sound that could be heard is patter of the raindrops on the glass window pane.. I saw somebody walking towards my school, fully drenched in rain. It was raining heavily, that I could see him only as a shadow..a familiar one, my heart started beating fast.. I wished its my dad. And believe me it was. I ran all the way through the stairs, the long verandah, and still the longer play ground with my colorful umbrella at hand.
He was fully wet, eyes red over the rain, he had a small packet in his hand, a familiar one.

“Daddy, give me two minutes I will pack my things and I will come” I said.

“No, you don’t have to. You cant walk all the way” .

“Then how did u come?” I was almost in tears.

“I walked all the way, almost swam through the Periyar, came to Valadi.. and I walked. You can’t do that”.

He walked all the way to see me. He never had those sugary words for me. He handed over the packet he had with him... the usual eatables he used to get me every week. I knew what it was.. it would be kadala and eenthapazham.
Another fifteen minutes, he said he needs to leave. I know crying is of no use. He is somebody who will decide once, and nagging won’t change his mind. And I know it’s impractical to walk all the way till home. I wished he stayed back some more time. But I know he won’t.
“Adutha aazhcha veendum varaam. Appazhekkum mazha kurayumaayirikkum.” (next week I will come again, hopefully the rain might be better then) Dad said. For a while, we were plunged into the sort of awkward silence that so often accompanies moments of great emotion. I knew he would come on next Sunday, because if said once, it is a word I can trust and he has proved it once more.

Even today he is the same... a man of few words. I see him sitting in the verandah, sipping his kattan kappi, reading the newspaper. It’s a usual if he is at home. He is a self-made person, and he never imposed anything on me. He is a father who always left me free, always showed me the utmost respect.

I see the rain. I love the rain… when I see the rain, I feel the sky is shedding tears. I love the storm.. its rumble.. I love the lightning splitting the sky into half with sword of light. I love the memories, my precious possession ... that I am taken to.

The pain of a lost childhood...

2007-06-15T01:36:00.000-07:00

The kid I met in park yesterday selling ballons, one whose childhood is out of reach.

I wish all the kids had a carefree and inncocent chilhood… where they have dreams, which are not crushed by the bitter facts of life.
-bs-

I resigned... and I am my own Boss!!

2007-06-12T10:02:00.000-07:00

My job as a Scientist in Jubilant Biosys has come to an end. However, you don’t just leave the team with a handshake and a wave. I got to share my views, my opinions. (after all no more appraisals for me he he). I have mixed feelings (like an avial*) when I think I am leaving my job.. My First job. It’s a surprise to know that I sticked to the same job more than three years. I think this is too much and I need to move on. The best word that describes me is “free spirit”, but I WAS caged by my own fears, fear of losing... fear of staying unemployed... fear what if my dreams doesn’t come true. Its time to go out of my cocoon... and to try experimenting my dreams and to live my life for what I am. I have had many funny, sad, strange, and crazy experiences in this three year life.
If you are working in Jubilant, continue reading only if you can bear the kadva truths along with the meetta facts, at your own risk. It might hurt you, it might make you happy.
More than three years back, when I got this job all I had in my mind was earning for my daily bread. I am not sure whether I did my interview well, but I convinced Parthi sir, that with time I can handle any tough situation (I promised myself to do my best if I am selected). My work was my God. Working 24/7 in 2004 never mattered coz that was the best team I could get. It was like an extension of my college life. Parthi sir, who selected me left the company (he was a very sweet person I should say), along with several others. Company started focusing on Drug Discovery (more dollars). They gave the worst and silliest excuses and terminated employees in masses. That silly were the reasons and rules they had. Indiscipline (even my convent school never had this strict rules), talking in the work place, not reaching the KRA (dunno when they had a real defined KRA), mobile phones were banned, internet banned, walking banned, eating banned... wait for some more time they will ban breathing in the work place. :)

I should say I was very lucky, to be selected to drug discovery team. My Boss, Dr. Raghib Hussain was the best boss, if I could vote for him. (May be he didn’t start learning the Jubilant Culture. I wish he stayed the same way).

It's all come to an end now and I have no regrets whatsoever. It's a time of my life that I will never forget. I will always think of it as the first company that gave me a job and I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better team of people to start my work. (Of course, nothing comes all time good. People were there busy doing back stabling, back bitching, but that was their problem and I was not bothered about the ill-fitting people, who were there to fill the voids). But if I look back, I am happy and content.

So I just want to take this opportunity to say a big thanks to everyone who worked with me, who made me feel welcome during my time with them. In particular: Parthi Sir, the brilliant, Teena, Sudip Sahu, Dr. Selva, Vanitha (the one who was always there to help me), Dilawer, Manjunath, Sivaram, Pratima (the sweetest of all), Jaceena, Arunadevi, Gens, Bineesh Tamilkutty (all time favorite), Venkit ( the calmest), Suresh ponnaya,...(Just my team mates) my God its going to be a big list... far innumerable to mention all names here.

I remember the lunches we had, cracking jokes (best time in office), trying to learn each other’s languages, sharing the food. Thank you Suji, Pratima and Hema. (pratima, will try out ur moms recipes for sure).

For all my friends, I recruited-I am happy for those who are settled in life with a good job, but to those who are still in process, I regret what happened and call me if there is something I can do for you.
To all of those who helped me-You are the people who kept me going and make my job worth it. I’ll genuinely miss you all but I need to move on.

For every mean person out there (very few, but worth many)- Thank you for teaching me that world is not just a bed of roses. Continue doing all the mean stuff u used to do. Never change, never learn from your mistakes. (and you never will).

For the management- If anybody comes across my blog. A humble request!! Value others time. U might invest lakshs in DISHA (to get funny results), invest crores in Six Sigma but Nothing can make a change unless u change yourself. In this three years experience, I have attended more than 100 meetings, that’s for sure. And the there was only one meeting that was held on time ( and that was Dr. Veena Agarwal’s. keep up this good habit Dr. Veena). The higher the authority, the more late he/she will be. (y don’t you calculate the FDA, the loss, when so many scientists wait for you, doing nothing).

If I were asked what I would change about my experience in Jubilant Biosys, my answer would be, "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING." Thanks for everything!

Avial*: a Kerala dish, blend of all assorted vegetables cooked in a paste of grated coconut.

A Whisper from the Past

2007-06-11T10:10:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I met my time twin.. After 12 looong years. We first met in school, and we were almost lost before we found ourselves in Orkut few months back. As I am leaving Bangalore in no time, we thought of catching up. I thought I will pen down my thoughts. A lot of it will only make sense to someone of my age, who have a similar experience, so I apologize to anyone who is still not my age and doesn't have the slightest inkling of what I am talking about.

Well! Who wouldn't be nostalgic when they see their friends whom they forgot they existed or not.. So here I go. Let me take you back in time! We were young kids, 13 years old or so when we met. The main fact that we noticed is we shared the same date of birth and year... though I don’t not know about the time (should be mid night 12 o clock :)). That was a time where my (may be everybody of my age) main interest was making friendship, having fun, clear through the exam.. not a thing to worry. Our friends who turned the sleepy class into a room full of life. Though we were not the very best friends, but we shared some common interests, and had a special feeling for each other. He was a calm, well behaved , well brought up boy (this is the testimony I wrote for him in Orkut :)).

Well, I must admit that I had no clue how wonderful an experience it would turn out to meet my twin again. I loved the tension, Waiting for him, who arrived on time. Once again we were taken back to the school days, recollecting our old friends, their where-abouts.. I read somewhere, time twins will have many things in common.. and amazingly I realized it yesterday. He shared my same interests... artistically talented :) we were ( u agree or not).
Yesterday was an extraordinary day where our friendship was celebrated, and some great memories immortalized. I realized some of the friends aren't just old friends anymore, but an extended family.
May be another 12 years we will meet again, and let the future unfold the co-incidences and characters we still share, coz I read somewhere, time twins will have many things in common?

Image from childactivities.umd.edu

PS: couldn’t find a good title for this post. Can somebody help me.. Person who suggests the best will get a dairy milk as a prize. How about that deal!!

Tick Tick Tick...

2007-06-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

The constant ticking of my watch... reminding me things I got o do. Things I haven’t done.. reminding me that I am still alive, and I got time…time to live.
Most of the time, we take it for granted, not utilizing it the way it has to be. We do things which is wastage of time, we don’t do things which is again wastage of time...
They say Life and Death are not in anyone's hands. But as long as you are alive, why don’t we be like the watch, utilize the time we got between the birth and death. Be like the watch… never lazy. the seconds keep on ticking to make a minute with 60 ticks. A minutes to hours.. hours to day... and so on.. Pages of life flips... which never comes back…
Be like the watch, which never gives excuses… Live your life... if not for yourself, for others…

Smile Please..

2007-06-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Whether Angels exist or not has been a subject of controversy since the dawn of mankind. Is there any concrete evidence?
Of Course there is..
Captured this angelic smile in yesterdays party..
-bs-

Letter from an NRI Malayalee

2007-06-01T04:12:00.001-07:00

I came across this email forwarding recently sent by my cousin chikku. Believe me I was crawling on the floor laughing my guts out and I almost had a heart attack when read this. .
No hard feelings pls. If you are a Malayalee, read it in the proper sense. Go ahead and have fun and laugh the way I did.

A family at Changanachery (Kerala) was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from Philadelphia, USA. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed into the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid they found a letter on top which read as follows:

Dear brothers and sisters,

I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be buried in the Parelpally cemetry. Sorry, I could not come along because nurses salary is going to increase from next month so I doubt whether I will get in case I am not here. You will find inside the coffin, under Amma's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 4 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On the sides of her head there is a tin of Nido and Tang. On Amma's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoe (size 10) for Biju.

Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Lijju's and Ammani's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Amma is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large ssize is for Sujoy and the others are for Tomy and Suresh. Amma is also wearing 6 Wonder Bras and 12 Victoria's Secret panties. Just distribute them among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans Amma wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Minju wanted is on Amma's left wrist. Tangamma Aunty, Amma is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you had asked for, Please take them. The 6 white cotton socks that Amma is wearing must be divided among Johnny and Nikhil. In Amma's pockets there are about 25 envelopes that are to be posted immediately. Some are drafts from the exchange company. Those marked "By Hand" are to be hand delivered (these are letters from my friends in the hostel, "pisukkikal thanne, enthu cheyyam").

There is also Rosamma's wedding album I brought here to show (off) my friends in Riggae hostel on my last visit. Also, you will find some syringes and two boxes of panadol and some other medicines which I don't know what for. But still I am sending them. Give it to the neighbours of Shantamma, OK? Johnny chettanu joli onnum ayilla, Prarthikkanam ketto.

Ellavareyum orthu kondu shesham nerittu kanumbol.

Laly Mol.
ThanX chikoos for forwarding this one.!!
-bs-

I Hate Maths

2007-05-23T21:28:00.000-07:00

Anyone that knows me well will know I hate maths .Maths has always been a head ache for me. When I was in my primary school, may be I was OK with it.. but I remember I was not really made for that. I remember standing in the circle drawn out of chalk which is made specially for me outside the class in maths hour, untill I studied the maths tables. She was a good teacher but I was a bad student. Tables never went into my head except the table of nine. I put extra effort in it and somehow I was managing the initial loathing I had for M_A_T_H_S, when I changed my school in 9th standard. I got a maths’ teacher who was sarcastic and critical of every small error who focussed only on the bright and smart students leaving me back again.. I hated maths and my maths teacher. The other day I got a forwarding from a friend of mine.. and it reminded me of my school days.. it was not much different for me. Thought of sharing it with you.
I was laughing my heart out when I saw these…

"Breaking News" - Average Indian Mind

2007-05-16T03:14:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about the recent "Breaking News" which I could see in the news paper.. Which I could hear people talking, which I could feel they are mesmerized in, the big events that are happening in our India, events we are interested in…

“The kissing of Hollywood actor Richard Gere and Bollywood actress Shilpa ShettY!!”
“The recent splash of the Abhiash-Aishwarya wedding!!”
“Indian edition of wardrobe malfunction—a tale of slipping tops and busted zippers!!”
“Mandira Bedi saree with the tricolor Indian flag featuring below her waist!!”
“Indian cricket team... whatever they do!!”

There are many more things happening in the country. Instead of shedding some light on ways to control poverty, population, illiteracy and unemployment, why is media involved in such useless things? Watching those news, I felt no one is benefited at any level but we are getting our time wasted.....
A lot has been said about the kiss between Hollywood actor Richard Gere and Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty. Newspapers and TV news channels were flooded with pictures and clippings of that incident. We justified telling that a foreigner insulted an Indian actress in a public function, when Shilpa, the victim doesn’t have any complaint. She wanted the media to stop high lighting the issue. . It got publicity for not what it intended to get. We forgot the event was to promote safe sex and arise AIDS awareness, which got least interest. And Gere, who has taken up the job of educating and spreading AIDS awareness, an issue which should be taken up by the media ad social activists who should be doing that, instead of focusing on peck on the cheeks. I wish people talked about the purpose of the event and not in kissing which I feel is a sheer stupidity
It’s really disgusting to see some newspapers mentioning Abhihek-Aishwarya wedding in the front page and important news in the inside pages. (I said some papers, coz some Newpapers were good enough to give importance to whatever required, and not this wedding though it was mentioned with needed importance e.g. THE HINDU). Some awakening needs to be done not only among the media persons, but also among us.. Indians.. to find interest in the right topic. The over importance we give for the film actors, politicians, cricketers may be because of media hype and fan frenzy.
Think about the Cricketers and the shame they have brought to our Country. Though we were always ordinary performers in cricket, the fans following them are endless. TV channels shamelessly talk about them. I don’t think any Pujas were performed for their success of Australian team and yet they have done so well. Its not that India has to win, but its that whether we win or not, the importance we give for cricket is too much and it shows that our maturity level has come to the bottom level, which is quite scary.
Think about the Mandira Bedi incident. Why we feel insulted when Mandira is wearing a saree that has flags of all the countries? Why we are bothered about the single tricolor flag on her saree and not on the thousands of plastic tri-colour Indian flags that lie next to dustbins after Republic Day and Independence Day every year?

We have time when we wait for hours to have a glimpse of our idols, the film stars. But we don’t have time to think about the things that can improve our nation, our life, our fellow beings life..
I wish if we had put effort to eradicate poverty, control population, illiteracy and unemployment. I wish Government had put more stress on education, infrastructure, healthcare facilities and cross-border terrorism. I wish we could do something to provide water and electricity to all. I wish the media who focus mainly on celebrities and bollywood put more effort to educate people on importance of facilitating a pollution-free environment, suppressing all communal forces, its burgeoning population. I wish we could think of controlling the brain drain and creating a talent rewarded work culture.
I WISH WE CONSIDERED OURSELF AS RESPONSIBLE CITIZENS OF INDIA
-bs-

Should I Quit My Job?

2007-04-23T01:27:00.000-07:00

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 47%

Well, you don't have the worst job in the world, but it's not great.
And don't worry, you're not the problem - your company is.
Start looking around for another job, even if you're not totally fed up.
Because in time, you're going to be dying to quit!

Should You Quit Your Job?

LIFE

2007-04-23T00:45:00.000-07:00

One Quote I like a lot:
"You only live once, but ifyou do it right, once is enough"
-bs-

Just another day.. my birthday..

2007-04-20T03:51:00.000-07:00

I sit on my old chair in my room. I could see the drizzling of the rain. ( I love rain, My shadowy soulmate) I had a tough day at work, meeting dead lines. Its difficult to think its my birthday. I had a wonderful dinner with my sweet little bro in “Swati Restaurent”…his treat for me.
I had a silent birthday, with out the hush and bush of ordinary birthdays unlike last year. An hour later, I open my eyes to discover that its pitch dark. I realized how much fun it was as a child... waiting for the birthday to come, to get a new dress, share chocolates, see the birthday cards wide eyed.. but now none of those seems to exite me.. “I am growing old’ I tell it aloud and smile for myself. All that matters are the blessings and thoughts..
I asked myself each year, did I make people I love happy this year?
YES!! I had done what I could do, have helped others in the way I could.
I ask myself did I make myself happy this year?
I myself have failed few times, and some of my wounds are still aching.
There were times when I want to give up the world ‘coz I felt hopeless and lonely
When I stumble over solitude my soul starts searching for solace, that’s when I start writing.. but then, This birthday had surprises for me.. I got calls from my school friends and college friends… whom I thought they don’t exist (I wonder how they remembered it..) and missed many calls I expected. No best friends call.. no best couzins call. I don’t regret. Funny the life seems to be. The best surprise was I was stuck with the phone the whole morning attending calls from my husband family. Its strange that how a call can make u feel special.. may be its that the thoughts count a lot.
I am happy I lived my life fullest this year, and I am kinda scared (and excited) about the year ahead. Let me wait and see what future holds in store for me J
PS: I thank everyone who made me feel special.. I thank my brothers who remembered my birthday and wished me when the clock struck 12.. I thank my Sis In Law, who put the effort to give me the best gift of this year. Thak you Sabu, for your thoughts and love.. and to my Siblings In law( is there a word like that, if not then, well add it in ur dictionary), wait till we meet again. I am going to throw a big party for u all.. cheers to my old friends, who called me wished, rejuvenating the old college memories..
-bs-

MuNnAR

2007-03-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

1. Trek to your hearts content while the clouds slowly descend upon you. The mist clad hills of Munnar*. (This is one of the favorite in my photo collections).
2. I was lucky enough to witness the rare sight of neelakurinji (Strobilanthus) (in 2006 Sept), flower which bathes the hills in blue every twelve years and Nilgri tar (Varayadu, meaning rock goat), the rare mountain goat that is fast becoming extinct.

*Munnar is a hill station in kerala, a state in India

Prince's gift!!

2007-03-26T08:51:00.000-07:00

The best gift we got for our marriage!!
This is Prinsu.. my nephew. he is the sweetest, cutest and most mischevious little toddler I have in my family. He made a presentation kinda' thing in his book, collected all the pictures he could get, pasted his collections of cars and political leaders. Made it more attractive with his drawings. he could not give it for my marriage coz his parents thought it too silly, and gave me another gift. It was after half an year that I got his gift which he kept safely to give it to me when I go to his house.
Thank you Princu. U gave me the best Gift and its really beautiful.

-BS-

Safety Precautions

2007-03-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

Today I attended a 2 hour seminar on safety precautions. It was meant for the scientists in biology department. It was useful (in one way) and funny (in other way), that I wanted to laugh my heart out during the presentation. but you re not supposed to.. (Or you have to deal with unattended KRA's, low Appraisal, increased HR scrutiny, office rumors, potential career damage.. my God!! Better I won't laugh). You might think why it's funny. From the beginning of the presentation, there was a gap b/w what the presenter said relevant to what we did. He was half way through the power point, when an Hr representative conveyed him that the existing team is biologists and the supposed chemists are attending the seminar in the after noon session. He was using the wrong presentation PowerPoint. (I agree he got good patience).. he started with the new presentation. Lack of proper planning or communication gap!!
It started from the first Aid kit contents (listen admin!!) , the emergency exit ( how to use it efficiently, where to be places, how to be labeled?), spacious and well planned work areas (if not how to re-arrange it), how to control electrical shocks, assuring earthing in the facility design etc etc.. Why the hell do they say that to Us. Management or the admin people, who can assure these things, are not there. It's a NO-SEnioR seminar.
Of course. He had some useful points for the scientists as well. (like bios-safety cabinets, what to be done in case of spillage or burn). It's going to be useful, not for those who attended it, but for those who understood it. My office management is so funny at times!! Damn funny!! God!! I want to be my own Boss.
He told one more story of an accident somewhere because of something (Bad memory) Out of 300 people, around 244 assembled in safety assemble area, following the safety precautions. Other 66 people didn't wait to follow the safety rules, they jumped out of the windows and they were the one who are still alive, though with broken legs and jaws. The other born followers--266 died. What's the moral of the story? Is it that you should not follow the safety rules (then what's the use of this presentation) or that I should protect myself? I take it as the second point.
I felt the seminar complete when I filled, in the training feed back form
Q: Two things I liked overall. Ans: Tea and Biscuit served during the presentation.
-BS-

Some Corporate Lessons..

2007-03-23T01:56:00.000-07:00

SOME OF THE CORPORATE LESSONS YOU WILL LEARN, IF YOU WORK FOR MORE THAN A YEAR IN A CORP. OFFICE.
I got this from a friend of mine. With my experience I found some of them to be true..very true.. I am sharing those few with you.

"We will do it" means "You will do it” (this is very true)
"You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
"There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
"Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
"We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought
"We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
"That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
“All the Best" means "You are in trouble"
-BS-

WHO AM I?

2007-03-22T03:31:00.000-07:00

Who am I?I am somebody who believes, nobody is bad, nobody is good. Only circumstances make them good or bad.
I am somebody who values relationship more than anything. I consider myself as the luckiest, because I got the best family, best cousins and the very best friends of the world and a very understanding husband. I have somebody to love; I am somebody who is being loved for what I am.
I can speak Malayalam, English, Tamil, Kannada.. bit of Hindi, Syrian.. and I am learning telugu now a days.. as I got few friends fro andhra. But I THINK in Malayalam.. just malayalam..my Mother tongue.. ( I prefer to say Father tongue Coz I am attched to my dad more )
I am simple, sophisticated yet sometimes confused and frustrated lady and I am here trying to leave imprints in my small world.I love the pleasures of life like walking in my village road, I love kids, I love the blue sky, the green lawns, I love sitting near the small pond in my house, I love Rain. Overall I am somebody who is in Love...
But then WHO AM I? I am leaving that for you to find out

I am touched!!

2007-03-21T01:23:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am, spouting off again with my yesterdays visit to Vattamalai, a village near Salem yesterday. I had an official visit there. Though I am not from Tamilnadu, with time I had developed and emotional attachment with Tamilnadu. May be it is because I had spent a good share of my time (4 years) in Tamilnadu, where I got to know Tamilans better. Or I should say, I knew a tamilan boy named Tankaraj before, even before my teenage. He was staying in our house, used to help in house hold chores. He was a young (around 20’s) and active boy. I never heard him complaining about anything. The best memory about him is he used to get us (kids) “parippu vada” when ammachi sent him to buy things from shop. He was more like a family member. Some impressions last for a life time. Its sad that he is no more there... leaving us with some good memories which will never fade.
The traveling from Bangalore to Salem was ok or it has become more like a habit. I will always sit in the 1st or 2nd row. The best thing about sitting in that seat is, I can exchange the seat with conductor whenever some dirty lust minded man creates trouble for me... and it’s not uncommon. I should say I am tired of complaining this to driver “sir” or Conductor “sir”. ( if you don’t call him sir, then its not going to workout. I see this trend only in Tamilnadu). Anyway this time I dint have any trouble. And one worst thing about sitting at the front is, by the time you reach your destination you will be almost deaf and your eye power might have increased by 0.25 (if you can manage to see the TV through out the journey). The two small TVs in their maximum volume and the colorful Tamil songs is an inevitable part of journey in Tamilnadu, and I am used to this, though I used to feel frustrated in the beginning.
I reached Vattamalai early morning by around 6 am. I could feel the fresh air and cool breeze. On the way to my friend’s room, I could see big bundles of thread, which they had dyed and put for drying..., in long sticks. There were hundreds of them. I always used to think why they don’t use any bright colors. This time its dull green threads on one side and the dull blue threads on the other side. This is not the first time I see this. Still every time I reached Vattamali, I saw something new.
I am always amazed by their hospitality towards the guests. I doubt whether I will take the same pain, if somebody else comes to me. The house owner is a good lady. She took care of the girls (my friends Selvi and Anitha).. She brought them milk, so that they can study well. (this is not included in the rent.. and its free.. daily two glasses of milk for girls to study Cool right!!J ) That was just a way she showed her affection towards them. She enquired everything and made sure they are safe. The same enquiry was there towards me also. I don’t feel open to strangers... and I used to get annoyed when people ask personal questions.. but now I consider it merely as their curiosity.
My work was done, faster than I expected. (dunno’ if its bcoz of the Lucky sari I was wearing yesterday). Evening I spent some time in VATTAMALAI... which is a small hill. Sitting there at the top of the hill, I felt so peaceful. I rarely get time to sit idle or look back at myself, if I am in Bangalore. Sitting there I could see, the whole village. All were busy returning home after their work. Mostly they were farmers. The only vehicle I saw was bicycle. Some had bullock cart. In the one and a half hour I sat there I couldn’t see any car or jeep. I could see children playing, wandering, fighting and making up again. I could see couples (it has to be husband and wife) happily returning home in cycle. The flowers in their head, which they had kept in the morning, all dried up. They looked tired and sun tanned. But still they were happy. They lived as if there is no tomorrow. I could see some thaathaas and paattis, talking under the big banyan tree. I wonder what they would talk daily, and don’t they go get vishayadhaaridhram, something I face very often. Air temperatures well above normal but there was an awesome ambience As night got darker, all I could see was the stars. I lay there. It was more beautiful than the sky I saw in Bangalore planetarium. Some stars were brighter than others. I could see three stars, winking at me. It might be the people who left me.. my mind was crazy. As it got darker we started back to room.
The best part of going to Vattamalai is the night eat-out. We eat kothu-porotta or Muttai-dosa (which I find only in Tamilnadu Thattu-Kadai’s). I had to leave by night. I remembered the big banyan tree in the bus stop which Propelled sunward. It covered large areas of the intervening surface below with an umbrella of shadow which was there in the bus stop. This time it’s been cut from the base as a part of Government plan, to make the already rubberized, straight and wide road still bigger. (I was thinking of my home-town in Kerala, which has many educated people, more shops and few hotels. Everything was good except the road. The houses are constructed in the road. Its many years since any patch work is done in that road. Our roads were more of gutters and less of tarred road... and yet, making the road a better doesn't exactly seem to be on the agenda of the Government or the concerned).
So, now I'm standing near a cut banyan tree, bags clutched in hand. Standing there waiting for the bus, reminded me of a Malayalam movie, where Mohanlal is given sent off by the whole village. There stood with me my friends, selvi and anitha, the house owner aunty (her youngest son Dinesh. he was too innocent and small for an 8th grader. He took the responsibility of taking my luggage which was a medium sized bag, in his superman cycle as he called it. The cycle wasn’t a small one which a boy of his age can ride. I doubt once upon a time it might have been used by his father. He had to stand and ride, as his legs won’t reach the pedal) and her friend (suguna). On the way to bus top I was offered a chips packet (locally tapioca chips- which tasted superb except for the excess red color they added while frying) by the thaatha...from whom I used to buy things every time. He tells me the same story of his disturbed sleeps at night and his leg pain. He dint expect an answer, or a remedy. All he wanted was a listening ear. I started late (around 9.30 pm) as I dint want to reach Bangalore too early. As it was a small village, everybody knew each other. Some busses didn’t stop there. One anna with a byke (I think bike is something rare in vattamali.) stopped to help us. Slowly I cud see around ten people, all were selvis’s or House owner aunty's friends or neighbors. By 9.45 pm, when I got the bus, more than a dozen people were there to bid me good bye... some of them I never met (I may not meet then again either), some faces which I had seen and forgotten. As the bus started, all of them waved at me. I know that there is something missing always, something we lost in civilization's social bargain, something we instinctively long for. I was touched by them; by the amazing humbling overwhelming love (which doesn’t expect anything in return) they showed.
BS

From a beginner..

2007-03-17T06:52:00.000-07:00

May be this is going to be one of my worst writings.. not only because, it doesn’t have any point to articulate, but its going to be utter nonsense.. Its not that I want to write nonsense, but I want to see how my first writing appears in my Blog.. I try to employ the latest ideas, my imagination and make my Blog a colorful and interesting one… one which my family and friends will look forward to see everyday. I know I can’t be a master in a day. It happens eventually… I mean to say very slowly.

It takes ages for me to change... and I can say I haven't changed much in the past ten years emotionally (may be you can leave the last 2-3 years… coz that’s the time when the major things in life happened.. and I have matured myself a bit more than before).. But otherwise if u see... I have evolved slowly into a social human being, which accommodates the modern techniques of today’s civilized world. Or I can say I am left as a evolutionary handicap... I learned many things... but I didn’t master anything. Computer is just one thing.. I never saw a computer until completed my pre-degree. Computer was something beyond my imagination. It was then I was re-planted to Chennai for my college education –the first Big City I saw. I still remember the big Buildings, Roads trafficked by cars (all colors and all types. That time I categorized Vehicles as cars, bus, jeep etc as I dint know the names of the cars. The only cars I knew by name were may be Ambassodor and Maruti… the Beatiful cars where my uncles and aunts used for marriage. ), I felt it was a dream. Forget all these.. what astonished me was the Esculator ( it took ages for me to remember the word E-S-C-U-L-A-T-O-R) which I saw in Spenser Plaza. I couldn’t believe my eyes.. when I saw a staircase which moves on its own. And I was scared to death just to try that. I still do not remember how many times I went in the escalator up and down.. once my fear was subsided.
..Where am I leading my writing to.. come back. Though I write nonsense its should be sensibly nonsense. So I wont deviate from the topic. I was telling you about computer,… ya.. that’s what I was saying.. the first time I saw a computer near is my aunts computer in her Chennai home. I was fascinated by the colorful fishes which I could see on the computer monitor ( MONITOR-a term I learned much later) which disappeared whenever my aunt touched the computer. ( it took years for me to understand what I saw was a screen saver). I didn’t dare to touch it because I had a bad history of spoiling things. May it was then I developed an insatiable appetite to know more about these things. Once I left to my hostel, computer was something I could get “darshanam” only one in two-three months… that’s when I go to my aunt’s house. It was years later that I got to work on a computerize when I was doing my post graduation, I got a simple computer book for starters in Malayalam… one of my friend gave to me.. I don’t remember whether I paid for that.. but that book was priceless. I still have it with me.. the starting was with paint.. then I tried word, excel, PowerPoint etc. by the time I completed my first year in PG I became almost a master in MS office… because we had to give presentations every now and then. We had to prepare reports, projects etc.
In all social circles, we are under enormous pressure to conform to the 'norms' of many different peer groups: if you don't, you risk being teased and gossiped. I cant say its really a pressure for me, but I like exploring.. Computer became a passion for me. Owning a computer, which can think faster than a human brain has been a fascination when I saw it first. As I said I evolved... and now fascination is a necessity. I feel a major part of me is missing when I don’t have my laptop with me.
So this is just another beginning.. a beginning of a blog. I haven’t explored much about it but I want to have one. So let’s see how this progress to be...
I doubt many haven’t gone through my entire writing…if you have, then well I agree you got either lot of patience or you are somebody whom I know well. Anyway thanks for the patience. I want to try my hand in Malayalam blogging too.. because as I Said I can write in English (to some extent) but I think in Malayalam. Your suggestions are welcome.. that’s how I can improve.