Its fathers days and it looks so unreal that I lost you, Daddy to a heart attack that you are not here anymore even though that is the ultimate truth. There were no good byes. I know I took time for granted. I wish I could get a day ..Just one more day ..because so many things are left unsaid. Its like parts of puzzle and I am struggling to put the pieces together and its never going to be complete unless you help me complete.
I am burning inside when ever I think I cannot see you again here. I have never seen a man like you so hard yet so tender inside. I have never seen a man who kept the word like you did. You were a man of few words but your actions roared. I have never seen anybody who feared none except God. The memories of you having a quiet time reading bible at after your long weary day is forever etched in my mind. I know where you got your strength and where to look into in days of trouble.You did what was right- always, even when no one was looking. I never heard you talk bad about others, I never heard you lie and his eyes always demanded the same truth in return, when it didn't you just ignored, never heard you grumble, but I could see the pain in your eyes. Nobody could picturize you with a tearful eye because you had that immense strength and misguided your attitude and nature as bitterness/coldness. Your actions were never influenced by what others think...a self made person you were. I have never seen a person with such a wisdom yet so humble and crystal clear. A quiet hard working man of impeccable character. The most influential man in my life.
You left a permanent vacuum inside which can never be filled as long as I live here. you never said anything but you always fulfilled my wishes even after you left us. I knew love is pain. Love has always been painful for me. The strong gripping pain covered in love whenever I think about you. The few words that I write here cant do justice to all of the years of love you gave me but still Thank you Daddy for believing in me.
I miss talking to you. I miss the wisdom in your words. I miss being in your presence. The insecure feeling that I have now is beyond words. I still have the magic boiling coffee pen that I talked to you about. I wanted to give you in person. The only solace I have is thinking you are safe now and is resting in that heavenly peace where nobody can hurt you anymore. I promise I will be strong and because I AM YOUR DAUGHHTER. What buds in fire cant be burned in sunlight that was you (you know who told me that) and now its me. I am truly blessed beyond what I could ever have hoped for because you gave me the love everybody can give together.. you love summed up to more than the love of father and a mother. I promise I will work on our dreams.. but without you its 1000 times harder but I promise I will work on that because that was not just your dream, my dream too.
With all the gracefulness you left with a smiling face covered in your favorite roses, I wish you knew how helpless and confused I was about life here ending on one side and life budding on other side.. Daddy I wish you saw the huge crowd who came for the funeral. I was amazed by their love for you. Did you see the tears they shed for you. Did you know Jose vaidhyan was irreplaceable because your cell phone is ringing nonstop after you left. the cancer patients, patients who had no hope until they came to you, patients from far and near. patients with all diseases.
When I write this Daddy truly is "Home" in heaven. Its okay, we couldn't say good byes because I am going to see you again and lets put the pieces of the puzzle together.
Let’s be honest, , most of us take parents for granted. For all those who read this my humble request is don't be a self-centered, ungrateful receiver of their love. They need a tangible demonstration of your love NOW while they are still alive.You will always be a child for them no matter how old you are. your days may be busy with work, kids, trying to make both ends meet. but you never know what is going to happen tomorrow. Call them, talk to them, Go out with them, Do the things you were wishing to do for long but keeps getting postponed because tomorrow is so unsure, Appreciate their help, Spend more time together, Give them pleasant surprises, Tell them you love them. Make your parents smile and that`s very important.