When I hear about arranged proposals and marriage , I think about the dowry too. It is still in place. Its that low class and lower upper class make open deals about dowry where as middle class and upper middle class are too decent to ask dowry. That doesn’t mean dowry doesn’t exist.
If the girl is uneducated, she got to give dowry. (bcoz she dint study. Whether the boy she is going to marry have studied or not is irrelevant). Even if the girl is educated,.. case is not different. This time she needs to give dowry get a good qualified gentlemen, according to her qualification).
Well you cant blame gents either. If he asks dowry, then he is an uncivilized money minded coward. If you don’t ask, then seriously something is wrong with him.
Here I am trying to share two of MY OWN experience I had to face, when I was undergoing the emotional torture of finding the right Guy. I was above the marriageable age (in my family, girls marry before 21). So my marriage has been a talk in the family, and tension of my dad. (I doubt, he started getting more white hairs after they started searching a boy for me).
Just sharing two incidences the first one is when the Boys father, makes an open request for dowry-decently and indirectly.
(Though Below mentioned situations are very true. No offense meant to anyone please)
Scene 1Place: My homes, to be exact our living room.
Participants: Him (a well qualified professional in Bangalore) and Me
(The elders were too generous and understanding that they wanted us to know each other in the 5 min allowed.cant blame.. what else can they do.. when I cudnt find one on my own)
And awkward silence in the room. I was told that the guy should start the conversation. I wait for him to start. Atlast he said after a long silence
Him:*smile*
Me: *smile*
Him: err…what is your name? (couldn’t hear what he said.)
Me: What?!????!!? (doubting if it’s the problem with my ears or with his voice)
Him: rr…. Your name is Beena, right? (funny. Without knowing you have come all the way traveling 5 hours to meet somebody whose name itself unknown. Maybe it’s the starting trouble)
Me: yes.. and you are XXXX right (hey. C’mon. I too talk blunders)
Him: err…what you doing?
Me: What?!??!!??? (again problem with he volume, forget bass)
Him: *gulp* err…hmmmm….I mean you are working in bangalore right
Me: yes yes.. (great this time I heard him).
Him:^&*()HJ
Me:%^&*()^&
Him: %^&*t6^&… (3 min over)
Him: you want to say something.
Me: *smile* No. (I knew I never want to know him more. 5 min is more than enough)
Him: errr…hmmm…err… well then
Me: *hmmm*
5 min later.
Guys father says bye. He makes sure his car is full with kappa, kaachikka, kurumulaku, elakka, kaappi kuru, ethakka, elakka etc from our land. Neighbour Chedathi was looking as if a long lost relative has come to see us. In the town, where they stay, these kind of things (above mentioned ones) are not good it seems (very true). Since his childhood, he rarely got to see the home cultivated vegetables.
Me: No wonder that’s why you showing this ‘aakrantham”
Hey. I dint say that. But I wished I could.
Guys father continued, “anyway nothing to hide between us now. I had given XXXX lakhs and XXX gold for my daughter. Blah blah blah"
My father: *gulp* err *smiles* err. I am glad my father dint faint
Well it dint work out.. how it can..
* end of scene 1 *
Scene 2
This time it’s not the father who is intelligent, but the son himself. He was trying to figure out how much he can get. (yes.. ofcourse he dint ask it directly)
Place: the same living room with the same furniture.
Participants: Him (this time it’s an IT Guy working in USA. On short leave, who wants to find his soul mate in a week or two) and Me.
Him:Hello?
Me: *smile* ( am used to this one)
Him: Beena, heard you work for Jubilant as a Scientist. That’s good. How’s the job?
Me: *wow*?!?!!? (direct and smart) ya ..Job is good. Infact I got few opportunities in other companies , but I dint want to change for the time being. Good career you see. (what a sweet lier I am)
Him: *smiles* (looked happy) so how do you go to office. By your car or they provide vehicle. I know all girls use two-wheeler still...
Me: *confused on the relevancy of vehicle I use*. No no.. I go by BMTC bus. (Cabs were not provided then. Buying a car was still a dream)
Him: *disappointed face* err…well. Then where do u stay. U have taken your own apartment or..???? ended in an uncertainty.
Me: No, No.. I stay in a hostel. Its very economic. I pay around Rs XXXX/-
Him: *with a very dull face as if he lost in his 10th examination but trying to keep a fake smile * well. Then.. umm. Err.. u na’. So what do you do with the money you earn. Might be investing in some share market or something
Me: What?!?!!??? Savings!!!!
Him: *gulp* err…hmmmm….He was shocked and was looking white as if he had seen a dead body talking.. well, Beena anything else you want to ask..??
Me: No NO.. (I could read his mind).
Him: %4$%^&^&* (He got up. Mother came and talked with him. Dunno how much of his errr…hmmm…err… well then Englishi Malayalam she could get understand)
Him: errr…hmmm…err… well.. aunty, where is the wash room?
Before my mother showed him the wash basin (bcoz she would no way understand his language), I guided him to the right place.
* the end of scene 2 *
Fortunately both didn’t have the chance to proceed.
After all you cant blame anybody. You get the deal; it’s a business for years. After dowry also, he can get incentives every time he visits her house. He doesn’t have to bother about the furniture, house hold items.. Everything done at pocket money given by FIL.
Dowry is a kind of smart business… I say. (but the money stinks)
Anybody against Dowry?
This Gold mine Image from somewhere in the Net.
