Thursday, July 19, 2007

IIIIITS Irritating!!!

The phone spam in Bangalore is taking pretty good amount of time and I hate it. That’s why its called IIIIITS meaning Increased, Irritating, Invasive, Inconsiderate, Insensitive telephone calls. I get calls from all the important banks. ABN Amro (its in the Hit list and sometimes I feel they get some bonus point if they call me. I get calls every 2 hours from this bank), Citibank, HDFC, HSBC are the most persistent. Its not only them Hutch, country club, Standard Chartered, SBI, ICICI etc are few others.
Of course there is nothing wrong in calling me to recommend a loan or credit card which will benefit me if I am interested. But what if you bug me with the same stuff more than twice a day. Think about my condition when I have several banks that are interested in my welfare. At least I wish they could spare me when I am in roaming network.

1 year back

Caller: ( young sweet voiced girl) .Good afternoon madam, I am calling on behalf of ABN Amro bank.
Me: regarding?
Caller: regarding personal loan maam. We have very low interest rate. Mam, may I know your salary and where you are working?
Me: I answer her and ask her more about that loan scheme.
Caller: She tells me about the new scheme and I patiently listen.
Me: no thanks now. But when I really need one I will think about your bank and its offer.
Caller: But maam, this loan is very good.
Me: (I briefly explain that I don’t have any plan to take any loan now and the call ends peacefully).
Me: *smile*

I am much impressed by the way our banks progress and its customer support.

6 months back

Caller: Good afternoon madam, I am calling on behalf of ABN Amro bank.
This is regarding personal loan maam. We have very low interest rate. (I interrupt her at this point)
Me: No thanks, I am not interested now.
Caller: But why maam?
Me: Because I don't want to. And I would appreciate if you can remove my name from your data base as I am getting many calls. And if I am interested surely I will consider it then.. but not now Thank you. (And I hang the phone)

I feel sick of all those calls from numerous banks offering 'free' / 'conditional free' credit cards and hell lot of loans!

2 months back

Caller: Good afternoon madam, I am calling on behalf of ABN Amro bank.
This is regarding personal loan maam.
Me: (I hang up)
I feel pretty annoyed


None of these seems to work. And now I try a different one

Caller: Good afternoon madam, I am calling on behalf of ABN Amro bank. This is regarding personal loan maam. We have very low interest rate. Blah blah blah
Me: Is it? May be I would like to know more about your loan
Me: * wicked smile*
Caller: *very happy face* Mam, may I know where you are working?
Me: I am working for Jubilant Biosys. (of course I am jobless now)
Caller: * happy face* can u spell it maam.
Me: very patiently J-U-B-I-L-A-N-T B-I-O-S-Y-S
Caller: Thank you mam. How much is your take home maaaam?
Me: this poor jobless soul take NOTHING.. hey I dint say that
thirty thousand two hundred and fifty three rupees.
Caller: *very very happy face* ok mam. May I know how much loan you are looking for and for what.
Me: I am looking for a loan of 100 rupees to buy a slipper. Does your bank offer that.
Caller: maam, I dint get you. *confused*
Me: I repeat
Caller: madam. You should not waste our time. If you are not interested why don’t you tell that first. *angry*
Me: how may times?? How many times I have to say I am not interested and how many times you have wasted my time.. * again same wicked smile*
Caller:#$%^&*() thank you maam. * very angry*

And this is funny. At least I feel I am repaying them for all the precious time they spend for me. And I feel happy * again that wicked smile once more*

Of course I understand and sympathize those (those who call me) are driven by daily targets to push the product. But remember I am no saint and I got the least patience.

I know some of my friends who pick the call and keep them saying ‘Hello Hello’. The sweet voice from the other side will keep saying hello- Hello for a while till her throat gets dried up and hangup the phone.

I heard about this Do Not Call registries where in once your name and contact number is registered in that this king of people should refrain from calling that number. Here are some of the DNC registries in India for the benfit of those who have seen the nellipalaka* of patience :

* nellipalaka is a mlayalam word and i don not know how to define it.:)


Prajwol said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Prajwol said...

Wow, so telemarketing is in full swing in India too. In US, at least they dont call in the Cell phones. And even if they are irritating you through your land lines you can have your number in 'do not call' list.

That's very innovative of you to have fun with that poor telemarketer :), but it will be impossible to deal with them all in that way. I'm hopeful that you will come up with even better plan :)

Nepali Akash said...

This might help you Beena:

"I'm sorry we can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message. Beep."

SUNIL NAIR said...

Nellipalaka" is a metaphor used in Malayalam language to denote the rock bottom of something, usually that of patience! , i saw this nellipalaka while searching this word in google (sigh) :)

Anitya said...

1 good reason for not having the phone at the moment.

wanderlust said...

they are so irritating.
once when i told one of them that i don't need a personal loan then, he wanted to know when i might need one.
if only one could know such things in advance....

mathew said...

Lol!!!well I have long stopped being courteous to them..many of em take us for a ride!!

Supernova said...

I once got a call @ 5AM!! can u beat dat..i was sleeping n dis guy called up offering me a LOAN!
If u tell dem straight away i dont want any loan, dey go like, maam atleast listen to me, i havnt even told u abt the scheme how can u decline it without knowing abt it...blah blah!

Beena said...

prajwol: will tell u if i come to know abt any new way of dealing those ppl. chek out the link by N.Akash. its really funny. will list out few of them.

N.Akash: i shud have read this before. anyway its better late than never. Real FUn it is.. cudnt help laughing . i liked esp these techniques.

1. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"

3. Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, because you want to write down EVERY WORD.

Sunil: thanks for your patience and that "kadappadu" for your help will be there. now try finding the meaning of "KADAPPADU" in Google. Hope u dont lose ur "nellipalaka" wen u read this ;)

Anitya: U dont have one. I dont believe. any plan to but one brand new 1100 nokia model. if u dont use it u can sell it to some museam :)

wanderlust: how abt try telling them to hire a astrologer!!

meeshakkara mathew: so how do u deal with them?

Supernova: atleast they were very good to me that they dont bother in my sleep.


mathew said...

lol!!..that meesha is fake.. ;-P
Long time since I got such a call..But most of the time it works wonder by passing on the number of a friend who badly needs to be irked by such folks...

hope and love said...

hmmm.. i hate them

Neelakantan said...

And these calls inevitably happen in the middle of a meeting during the week or bang in middle of your hard earned siesta on weekends. BTW, nice blog...

Vineeth Peter said...

really nice one....
keep on writing...

Jac said...

That made me laugh...and that meesakkaran matt made me laugh more.

Beena said...

mat: i cud make out easily that ur meesha is a fake one. :)

doc: me too. evrubody does :))

neelakandan n vineeth: thanks..

jac: meeshakkaran matt aalu puli aane :)

Vineeth Peter said...

did u see the new TV AD from an "FM Channel"...?
Its an adv in that a king shaves his "Meesha". Then Fix a new meesha (which look like urs).
got that ad?
every time when i see it, i remembers u!!!!!
its Better to change ur photo....

Ashish said...

100 rupees loan for buying slippers??? ha ha ha...

Ken said...

100 rupees to buy a slipper?

Gossh... I would have committed suicide on other side of phone.

Next time ask for 100 crore, keep 100 and pass 99,99,900 to me.

Good one.. I pitty ur situation though. :) I am not all that lucky and left alone by these banks. Fortunately I do not get more than 1 in a day.


AM I A HINDU? Best Seller said...

Very sickening. Thank God, there is DO NOT CALL LISTING in US with the government.

sid said...

Hilarious!!!Was rocking n lafing by the end of it:-)

kuldeep said...

Thanks for the post...
you can also visit