Take up your cross!!! Plan your lent!!!

I don't really consider myself much of a religious person but I do want to connect myself with the sacrifice of Jesus. This lent, I really want to have an effect on me. I wanted to observe the lent this time… the forty-day liturgical season that initiates the most sacred part of the Christian year. This time let it be NO-NO.. to all the Non Veg items. It all started with the ash Wednesday. Remember I am going to leave all my favorites for 40 days. (Its not 40 days but people say .. same like every senti-mummy dialogues which goes.. I carried you for 10 months and u *sob* and u.. *sob*. I dunno which mother carries for 10 months. Its 9 months 1 week.. Round it, its still 9 months. May be its extra bonus period you get Free with every pregnancy to claim.

Is there any connection between the stomach and consciousness? A great question indeed!! The latter serve as a reminder to the former.. reminding me.. “Beena . You are fasting”. “Beena You are fasting”. Its ok if the consciousness reminds me of the fasting, but it reminds me of the all tasty mouth drizzling NV dishes ammachi made, or the Big Mac Offer from Mc Donalds.. making you more hungry.. and reminding you of the temptations Jesus underwent. (Dunno if he had to face my favorite Big Mac offer temptation,..)..The sufferings he faced, his death and resurrection.

Wednesday morning :Day 1
Gave up fish, chicken, mutton, beef. Egg is considered as a vegetarian.. so I am a perfect follower of lent… the poor eggetarian.

Day 2
Its not difficult to sacrifice the meat or fish when I have so many other options from the loving heavenly father. I did not fall for the grilled beef we made in the evening.

Day 5
Sunday morning
A devoted christian in church by morning. It’s on the way that we decided to have Breakfast from outside. As a semi-regular cook, this is something, which sounds like music to my ears. It was difficult to select any vegetarian food, but I am a veggie of 50 days.. and I decided on a sardough, when mr. Hubby and MIL ammachi decided on my favorite buretto, which contains lots of meat.. a real devil in front of a true Christian. I was savoring the breakfast and I was half way through when I noticed the bacon in that.
It’s a difficult thing to decide.. what to do with the bacon in that. Its not that I can keep the bacon aside and continue with food, but ammachi wont be happy to see me keeping it there. She is a lovely lady who wants everybody to eat.. and reminds everyone every now and then to eat.

Scene 1
Me taking the bacon from the sardough and keepting it down. *sob*
ammachi looking at me and making a notion to eat it. New-daughter-in-law…who is not supposed to make a scene, gulps it down without saying word. Ammachi giving me a coarse look... a warning to the advise on healthy eating which can follow anytime.
Mr.Hubby not happy with my silly idea of fasting, and understanding the look of ammachi, gives me a still worse look.
In fact this dint happen... to prevent it from happening.. I gulped everything. A small piece of bacon only one day should not do any harm to my fasting. Should it?

Day 6 and 7
A strict follower of lent and a true Christian. It was then raaman, (Mr.hubbys family friend for years) and his family invited us for the dinner. A good intention!!

Day 8
A pleasant day at Ramans house. a Birthday party cum inviatation for the newly wed couples. (It’s strange that we are still called newly Wed. its almost two years and still we are called the new couples. Its partly because we did not visit much of our relatives after the wedding…but mostly the reason is this. My husband-kutty being the youngest of the small family of seven children…(all married except him) and petest and pamperest and soapiest* and what else. So till his elderrr sisterrrrs elderrrr daughterrrr gets married, who is still studying, we are going to be the newly wed Couples.
When the newly wed were offered the choice of fish or meat, I did not want raman or his handsome grandson (sshh!! secret *wicked smile*) to feel offended. I was again in the same dilemma. After all I do not like fish much. And I don’t want the imaginary carls Jr scene to be real. I left the lent on fish. *sob*

Day 9
A pure eggietarian plus fishitarian, and a follower of 50 day lent. *proud of mself*

Day 10
Lunch in SIL’s house. (sister in law… not son inlaw) *wink* .
A warm lovely lady, whose brunch invitation we couldn’t say NO, or reject, and it would be unfair. I go there thinking on somehow continuing with my lentism, without creating the imaginary Carl’s Jr scene.
A well-planned lunch in beautifully arranged room!
The smell of barbecued chicken drummets, kappa, fish curry, mr. Hubbys favorite pork, Thomas chettai’s (my SILs hubby) special beef dishes and other countless dishes.. which any lent follower can consider as the test of times. And there I am a strong willed Christian, who decided to put away all the temptations.

Scene 2
Mr hubby and Thomas chettai, SIL, ammachi, and the lent follower, relaxing on the table overlooking the beautiful garden…
Each filled their plates and me sitting with them, eating like a rabbit… I mean munching only on the veggies
Ammachi: taste this meen curry with kappa. Before I could say NO… it was there in my plate. It was then the Mr.Hubby showed his love on his wife, with his fav’ ham, and in a fraction of a second it was lying beside the salmon.
Thomas chettai: Dint you take the Beef? Taste it. Its good (of course, it will be. I am a fan of thegakothitta kanjirapally achayanmaarude beef fry).Neither did I want him to question his own beef making culinary skill nor did I want the Carl’s Jr imaginary scene to be real here. And if it happens, it’s going to be with 3D effect. So praying for all the sinners and the poor lent followers I had to start from one side… the side of chicken or the side of beef…

I began with the best of intentions, but I am not sure what I'm doing or what I want to be doing…
Its then that I turned to the Lord with some real question?
"Lord, it feels so good to be honest with myself before you. It feels very good to feel your presence in every way..
…in form of love..
…in the form of that beautiful jerkin which you made my husband buy for me from ROSS…
…in the form of gift card, when I really wanted to buy my juke box (or else I would never have got it now)
When you love me so much, do you want me to undergo all these Carl’s Jr scene every time. Do you really mean me to stay away from NV when you yourself did magic on two fish (not tomato curry) and five loaves to feed the multitude. God Understand me and bless me…*humble*

God to me “ I understand you. And don’t try all the icing works which you do on your dad to please me. But I understand you.. I really do. Of course I do understand the mental torture you had when you heard that Mc Donald gave that BigMac offer just after you started the lent. Dear child, eat everything you want to eat. Fasting is in the mind.
Instead do this :
Be happy.. Make others happy…
Avoid any negative thoughts... that’s what I want you to be during the fasting and later".