Friday, June 1, 2007

Letter from an NRI Malayalee

I came across this email forwarding recently sent by my cousin chikku. Believe me I was crawling on the floor laughing my guts out and I almost had a heart attack when read this. .
No hard feelings pls. If you are a Malayalee, read it in the proper sense. Go ahead and have fun and laugh the way I did.

A family at Changanachery (Kerala) was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from Philadelphia, USA. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed into the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid they found a letter on top which read as follows:

Dear brothers and sisters,

I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be buried in the Parelpally cemetry. Sorry, I could not come along because nurses salary is going to increase from next month so I doubt whether I will get in case I am not here. You will find inside the coffin, under Amma's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 4 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On the sides of her head there is a tin of Nido and Tang. On Amma's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoe (size 10) for Biju.

Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Lijju's and Ammani's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Amma is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large ssize is for Sujoy and the others are for Tomy and Suresh. Amma is also wearing 6 Wonder Bras and 12 Victoria's Secret panties. Just distribute them among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans Amma wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Minju wanted is on Amma's left wrist. Tangamma Aunty, Amma is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you had asked for, Please take them. The 6 white cotton socks that Amma is wearing must be divided among Johnny and Nikhil. In Amma's pockets there are about 25 envelopes that are to be posted immediately. Some are drafts from the exchange company. Those marked "By Hand" are to be hand delivered (these are letters from my friends in the hostel, "pisukkikal thanne, enthu cheyyam").

There is also Rosamma's wedding album I brought here to show (off) my friends in Riggae hostel on my last visit. Also, you will find some syringes and two boxes of panadol and some other medicines which I don't know what for. But still I am sending them. Give it to the neighbours of Shantamma, OK? Johnny chettanu joli onnum ayilla, Prarthikkanam ketto.

Ellavareyum orthu kondu shesham nerittu kanumbol.

Laly Mol.

ThanX chikoos for forwarding this one.!!
-bs-

20 comments:

surya said...

ninakku vere joli onnum illae?
Ithano thamasha.........
enikku ithu vayichittu onnum thamashayayittu thonniyilla....
please stop write these type of waste comedies.

bhattathiri said...

The American justice Dept. have recently approved the power of yoga and meditation vide a recent judgement in the American court.” Man Who Slapped Wife Sentenced to Yoga, It's Anger Management, Says Judge." First there was house arrest. Now there's yoga. A judge ordered a man convicted of slapping his wife to take a yoga class as part of his one-year probation. "It's part of anger management," County Criminal Court at Law Judge Larry Standley said of the ancient Hindu philosophy of exercise and well-being. "For people who are into it, it really calms them down. " Standley, a former prosecutor, said the case of James Lee Cross was unique. Cross, a 53-year-old car salesman from Tomball, explained that his wife was struggling with a substance abuse problem and that he struck her on New Year's Eve during an argument about her drinking. "He was trying to get a hold of her because she has a problem," Standley said after the court hearing. "I thought this would help him realize that he only has control over himself." The sentence came as a surprise to Cross, who was told to enroll in a class and report back to Standley on his progress. "I'm not very familiar with it," Cross said of yoga. "From what I understand, it may help in a couple ways, not only as far as mentally settling, but maybe a little weight loss." Darla Magee, an instructor at Yoga Body Houston in River Oaks, said she would recommend that Cross take a basic yoga class emphasizing breathing and including a variety of postures -- forward bends, back bends and twists. "Yoga can help us to get rid of many emotional issues we might have," she said. "It's a spiritual cleanse." Prosecutor Lincoln Goodwin agreed to a sentence of probation without jail time because Cross had no significant criminal history http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/metropolitan/2365341.

Ken said...

ha ha hah ah...

this mail was floating orignially with gujaratis as protaganist. i think someone who does not like mallus has changed it. i m sure this must have also floated by having paunjabis in center. :) :)

Ken

Beena said...

Surya: enikku vere pani onnum ille enno? ITHOKKE THANNE AANU ENTE PANI..

bhattathiri: looks like a COMMERCIAL-BREAK between comments

Ken: R u from punjab? anyways my intension was just to have fun.. I respect malayalies and punjais a lot U know'

Ken said...

Beena,

I am neither punjabi nor mallu. I was just telling you that these days people even copy/paste jokes.

And do not worry, I am never offended by such emails and jokes, there are there to make us laugh, and I always take them in right sense. :)

Btw, you wanted Darshna to have blog, here is what she wrote once for me. http://paradoxpackets.wordpress.com/2007/05/18/p53/

I hope you will like it.

Anonymous said...

funny funny.. but arent you a malayalikutty?

Rekha said...

very funny.....i was laughing my heart out reading dat...
keep filling ur blog..
love to read such kinds..
:)

Anonymous said...

i have atlast laughed..when i read the comment by REKHA.

just wondering does she really has any sense of joke..?
or is she just cimong out after watching one of Madhu Mohan's serial?

എന്റെ കാഴ്ചകള്‍ said...

This mail is not funny.... Ini funny ano...? Cant answer to dat.... may its fast going world..... hota hai

എന്റെ കാഴ്ചകള്‍ said...

This mail is not funny.... Ini funny ano...? Cant answer to dat.... may its fast going world..... hota hai

Stallone said...

aww surya, don't you get it? it's a stereotypical joke

If a freshie goes abroad, or even NRIs tend to send gifts, and it's a slap on how material we mallus can be.

There is no concern for the dead mother, all we care about is ourselves.

it's brilliant! i was searching on google what other malayalees have to say..damn we so need a website catered to NRI mallus..

Anonymous said...

verei oru blogil kandu angamaly il ulla oru family aanennu,ippol adu changanaserry aayi.ningal changanassery il aano?pinney ippol bhayangara sabathika mandyam aanu,idu oru thamasha aayi edukkano?

Anonymous said...

odukkathe thamasha..changanasery ente naad aanu..avide ihu pole oru sambavam nadanno..?eppol aaarunnu athu...??

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Anonymous said...

i just finished ur story.i don't think it's real.but can be happen..it's not a joke.it's d situational disasters.v can't tease d nurse as well as d relatives who r expecting gifts from nri mallus. This is d culture which v (especially madhya travancore achayanism) earned 4m u.s migration of our mallu nurses who primarly worked for d old farmer appachan and kettichayakatha chechees.after that karthavayakunna sonthapetta achayanum.their sacrifices became rubber plantations. Eventhough theyir hands were long enough to give gifts 2 mallappally.. But ur story scared me bit .is it d way mallus must go! Any way beena ur story is nice...

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